[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank. Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
CHANDLER: Oh, great. This is just...
[Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.]
(INTRO)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.] RACHEL: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
MONICA: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
RACHEL: Wow, you guys, this is big.
MONICA: [into phone] Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. [hangs up]
PHOEBE: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. [to Monica] What's my number?
CHANDLER: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
[Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.]
CHANDLER: There you go!
[He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.]
CHANDLER: You're definitely scaring her.
JILL: [awkwardly] Would you like to call somebody? [offering phone]
CHANDLER: Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. [takes phone]
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The phone rings; it's Chandler.]
MONICA: Hello?
CHANDLER: Hey, it's me.
MONICA: [to everyone] It's Chandler! [on phone] Are you OK?
CHANDLER: Yeah, I'm fine. [trying to cover up what he is saying] I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.
MONICA: What?
CHANDLER: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr!
MONICA: I have no idea what you just said.
CHANDLER: [angry] Put Joey on the phone.
JOEY: What's up man?
CHANDLER: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth JLL GDCR.
JOEY: [to everyone] Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! [on phone] Chandler, listen. [says something intentionally garbled]
CHANDLER: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.
[Scene: Monica's apartment, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]
RACHEL: Alright, somebody.
MONICA: OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.
ALL: Whoooaa!
ROSS: That's my sister.
JOEY: OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York City public library.
MONICA: Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?
ROSS: Phoebs, what about you?
PHOEBE: Oh... Milwaukee.
RACHEL: Um... Ross?
ROSS: Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.'
ALL: No way!
ROSS: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
PHOEBE: Oh, Rachel.
RACHEL: Oh come on, I already went.
MONICA: You did not go!
ALL: Come on.
RACHEL: Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... [sigh]... oh, the foot of the bed.
ROSS: Step back.
JOEY: We have a winner!
[Scene: Time passes once again. Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
RACHEL: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
ROSS: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
RACHEL: There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.
ROSS: Come on.
RACHEL: No, he said we were holding up the people behind us.
ROSS: [sarcastically] And you didn't marry him because...?
RACHEL: I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of...
ROSS: Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.
RACHEL: Yeah right.
ROSS: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
RACHEL: [sigh] OK.
ROSS: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.
RACHEL: You don't.
ROSS: Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.
RACHEL: Really?
ROSS: Mmmm.
RACHEL: You do?
ROSS: I do.
RACHEL: Oh Ross, you're so great. [she playfully rubs his head and gets up]
JOEY: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
ROSS: No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.
JOEY: Ross, you're mayor of the zone.
ROSS: Look, I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...
JOEY: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking.
ROSS: Oh yeah? She just ran her fingers through my hair. Were you... missing that interaction?
JOEY: No no no no. This (runs his fingers through Ross's hair) is running fingers through your hair. This (tousles Ross's hair) is a tousle. Look, Ross, if you don't ask her out soon, you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever!
ROSS: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. [Joey looks at him] What? What, now?
JOEY: Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and you got to say, 'Rachel, I think that...' [Rachel comes into the room behind them]
ROSS: Shhhh!
RACHEL: What are you shushing?
ROSS: We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. [everyone is silent] Don't you hear that?
RACHEL: Ahhhh!
ROSS: See?
RACHEL: Huh. [she agrees, but looks very confused]
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.] MONICA: [to Ross] This is just Bactine. It won't hurt.
[Ross flinches in pain.]
JOEY: Sorry, that was wax.
PHOEBE: Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner.
ROSS: Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?
RACHEL: During a blackout? He'd get trampled!
ROSS: [nonchalantly] Yeah?
[Scene: ATM vestibule.]
CHANDLER: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. [Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look] 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]
PHOEBE: [stops at a door] Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?
RACHEL: Oh. [they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers] Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.
CHANDLER: [chewing gum] Ah, let's see. What next? Blow a bubble. A bubble's good. It's got a... boyish charm, it's impish. Here we go.
[Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.]
CHANDLER: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. [Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.]
CHANDLER: Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... [grimacing] ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.
RACHEL: [to Monica and Phoebe] Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
MONICA: If you want, I'll do it.
[Ross looks at Joey.]
PHOEBE: I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. [Rachel looks at her] But I won't.
RACHEL: God, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.
PHOEBE: You know, did you ride mopeds? Cause I've heard... [they stare at her]... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.
RACHEL: Y'know, I know it's totally superficial and we have absolutely nothing in common, and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd....
[Scene: The other side of the apartment. Ross has gone over to straighten things out with Paolo.]
ROSS: Paolo. Hi.
PAOLO: Ross!
[Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.]
ROSS: Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing.
PAOLO: Thing?
ROSS: Thing, yes. Thing.
PAOLO: Ah, you... have the sex?
ROSS: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
PAOLO: Bed?
ROSS: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
PAOLO: Oh!
ROSS: Yeah! Se vice?
PAOLO: Si.
ROSS: So you do know a little English.
PAOLO: Poco... a leetle.
ROSS: Do you know the word crapweasel?
PAOLO: No.
ROSS: That's funny, because you know, you are a huge crapweasel!
[They hug.]
[Scene: ATM vestibule. Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
JILL: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.
CHANDLER: Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.
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Friends: Season 1, Episode 7 Transcript
When a blackout cripples New York City, the friends must entertain themselves until power is restored. Chandler is stuck in an ATM vestibule with a model, while the rest of the gang holes up in Monica’s apartment.
Fun Fact: Chandler went on record – on the Graham Norton Sow – saying this episode was when he knew Friends was going to be a big hit.