MERCUTIO Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home to-night?
BENVOLIO Not to his father's; I spoke with his man.
MERCUTIO Ah, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline. Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
BENVOLIO Tybalt, the kinsman of old Capulet, Hath sent a letter to his father's house.
MERCUTIO A challenge, on my life.
BENVOLIO Romeo will answer it.
MERCUTIO Any man that can write may answer a letter.
BENVOLIO Nay, he will answer the letter's master, how he Dares, being dared.
MERCUTIO Alas poor Romeo! he is already dead; stabbed with a White wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a Love-song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the Blind bow-boy's butt-shaft: and is he a man to Encounter Tybalt?
MERCUTIO The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting Fantasticoes; these new tuners of accents! 'By Jesu, A very good blade! a very tall man! a very good Whore!' Why, is not this a lamentable thing, Grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with These strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these Perdona-mi's, who stand so much on the new form, That they cannot at ease on the old bench? O, their Bones, their bones!
MERCUTIO Well said: follow me this jest now till thou hast Worn out thy pump, that when the single sole of it Is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing sole singular.
MERCUTIO Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art Thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature: For this drivelling love is like a great natural, That runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
ROMEO One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to Mar.
NURSE By my troth, it is well said; 'for himself to mar,' Quoth a'? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I May find the young Romeo?
ROMEO I can tell you; but young Romeo will be older when You have found him than he was when you sought him: I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
An old hare hoar, And an old hare hoar, Is very good meat in lent But a hare that is hoar Is too much for a score, When it hoars ere it be spent. Romeo, will you come to your father's? we'll To dinner, thither.
ROMEO A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, And will speak more in a minute than he will stand To in a month.
NURSE An a' speak any thing against me, I'll take him Down, an a' were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I cannot, I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am None of his skains-mates. And thou must stand by Too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
PETER I saw no man use you a pleasure; if I had, my weapon Should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare Draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a Good quarrel, and the law on my side.
NURSE Now, afore God, I am so vexed, that every part about Me quivers. Scurvy knave! Pray you, sir, a word: And as I told you, my young lady bade me inquire you Out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself: But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into A fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross Kind of behavior, as they say: for the gentlewoman Is young; and, therefore, if you should deal double With her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered To any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
ROMEO Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I Protest unto thee--
NURSE Good heart, and, i' faith, I will tell her as much: Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
ROMEO What wilt thou tell her, nurse? thou dost not mark me.
NURSE I will tell her, sir, that you do protest; which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
ROMEO And stay, good nurse, behind the abbey wall: Within this hour my man shall be with thee And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair; Which to the high top-gallant of my joy Must be my convoy in the secret night. Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains: Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.
NURSE Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
NURSE Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady--Lord, Lord! when 'twas a little prating thing:--O, there Is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain Lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief See a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her Sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer Man; but, I'll warrant you, when I say so, she looks As pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not Rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
ROMEO Ay, nurse; what of that? both with an R.
NURSE Ah. mocker! that's the dog's name; R is for The--No; I know it begins with some other Letter:--and she hath the prettiest sententious of It, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good To hear it.
ROMEO Commend me to thy lady.
NURSE Ay, a thousand times.
Exit Romeo
Peter!
PETER Anon!
NURSE Peter, take my fan, and go before and apace.
Exeunt
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Genius Annotation1 contributor
Benvolio and Mercutio wonder where Romeo got to the night before. Mercutio believes he’s dead by Cupid’s arrow, and adds some more insults about Rosaline for good measure.
Romeo arrives and is trolled by Mercutio, again. The nurse then turns up, looking for Romeo. He asks her to deliver a message to Juliet, asking her to get to Friar Laurence’s confession, where they will be married.
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