[Verse 1: Eric Cartman] Well Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch She's a bitch to all the boys and girls
[Verse 2: Eric Cartman] On Monday, she's a bitch On Tuesday, she's a bitch On Wednesday through Saturday, she's a bitch Then on Sunday, just to be different She's a super King Kamehameha bi-аtch!
[Chorus: Eric Cartman, Choir, Eric Cartman & Choir] Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world (Lalalalalalala) She's a mean ol' bitch and she has stupid hair She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
[Refrain: Eric Cartman, Choir, Eric Cartman & Choir] Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch She's a stupid bitch! (Woah!) Kyle's mom's a bitch And she's such a dirty bitch! (Bitch!)
[Break: Eric Cartman] Talk to kids around the world And it might go a little bit something like this:
[Chorus: Eric Cartman, Choir & Both] Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world (Lalalalalalala) She's a mean ol' bitch and she has stupid hair She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch (Oh)
[Refrain: Eric Cartman] Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch She's a stupid bitch! Kyle's mom's a bitch And she's such a dirty bitch!
[Outro: Eric Cartman] I really mean it Kyle's mom, she's a big, fat, fuckin' bitch Big ol' fat fuckin' bitch, Kyle's mom Yeah, cha
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The extended movie version of the song. (The original, shorter version appeared in Season 1, episode 9, “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.”)
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