Paging @nappy

#bringbackrotf

Who writes these in all caps though? British parents are clearly extra-lame.

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I wasn’t really a fan of this article but this is a great conclusion.

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This right here is actual footage of me dancing in the rain:

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“A clavicle will grow back together as long as the pieces are in the same room.”

—Medical Doctor in Ruston, Louisiana, to a young Brad’s mother, upon the discovery of a broken collarbone.

I mean, I’m all for meaningful sacrifice, but if my soulmate tried to save me from a recurring collarbone break by taking music out of their life, as conversational material, as entertainment, et cetera, I’d say they clearly weren’t my soulmate.

Imagine, you and your soulmate are off to see the Bolshoi Ballet perform Sleeping Beauty—a prima ballerina does the Rose Adagio, and it’s one for the records, forever destined to go down as the perfect incarnation of Princess Aurora, and you know this for a fact as the final swell in Tchaikovsky’s orchestration drags on and on during the final en-pointe balance. Her hand hangs above her head for an eternal moment before she extends it back down to her final suitor, without a single shake in movement—her balance is flawless. You turn— exhausted, exhilarated—to share this moment with the one person to whom your soul is forever bound. Only, your partner is not breathless with the beauty of the ballet. Your partner didn’t hear the orchestra taking impromptu instruction from the conductor, extending the swell a full extra bar to match the dancer—the instruments groaning, about to break into dissonance.

Your partner heard Alice in Chains.

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A reference to two iconic figures of children’s stories: the titular phantom tollbooth in Norton Juster’s novel teleported travelers to the Kingdom of Wisdom, but after an adventure in the kingdom, the tollbooth is sent away to another child; and the golden goose, which appears in many classic stories.

In Aesop’s Fables (the 74th fable), there is a goose that lays golden eggs. This is probably the most well known “golden goose” due to its appearance as the temptation for Veruca in the 1971 musical-film adaptation of Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (although it is not in Roald Dahl’s story).

In the Brothers Grimm’s collection of fairy tales, a literal golden goose is carried by “Simpleton,” our hero, who accidentally collects a parade of people attempting to steal feathers (and are thus stuck). The sight of the parade of people stuck together causes the “Princess who has never laughed” to laugh until she cries and, in many versions of the story, Simpleton is able to win the heart of the princess (typically after some trials that he completes with the assistance of the goose).

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“Higher” is a spare track, running a second over two minutes. The bluntness of the lines rather than a “more creative” and “poetic” style reinforces the idea of baring her true feelings in a drunk state: every element of the song is crafted around the idea that “the only thing that’s in [Rihanna’s] mind” is “I love you.”

Rihanna previously explored the uninhibited truth that may come with drinking on “FourFiveSeconds”:

I think I’ve had enough
I might get a little drunk
I say what’s on my mind
I might do a little time

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I think you can divide your life between pre- and post- The Count of Monte Cristo. It’s an event.

I read the Modern Classics version, which was a reprint of an earlier translation that cuts at least one chapter (that’s mostly a recap chapter for the readers on the serial) but I plan to reread it completely uncut. I believe the Oxford translation is pretty new.

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