I went to a Shakespeare lecture with the Actual Liz today instead of going to my Actual class. Moqtada al lecture, an acquaintance asked, "Are you in this class?" I replied, "Yea, I just don't come to lecture much. The professor's good though." Silence. "Really excellent, an excellent lecturer, really." Silence. "He's really good." Silence. "Quite good?" Nothing. I broke into a giggle and blurted, "I'm just kidding I'm not in this class I just came with Liz, hahaha." He was pissed that I confused him. Fucker. It's people like you who bring out the monster in me.

Said monster was wreaking havoc last night during my interview for Skull and Bones. I couldn't get down with them, because they only speak in superlatives. I don't have a best or favorite or most anything. This really happened:

Girl interviewer: What would be your ideal day?
Me: My ideal day, uhh?
Girl: Yea, like just give us the rundown, morning to night. You know, what's your ideal day?
Me: My ideal day, alright...let me think, umm. Huh, ideal day, alright...
Girl: You don't have to answer.
Me: No it's not like that.
Girl: - (you are pathetic)
Me: Alright, my ideal day...I wake up, real fresh (this is going fine, just keep going). Uh, get out of bed, all fresh, good sleep cycles. Wait, is this my ideal day at Y**e or anywhere?
Girl: Anywhere.
Me: Ohhhhh, OK. Ummmm....I don't know. So I'm up then, feeling fresh--I guess I win the lottery? I don't really think about this type of thing. Uhhh, I don't know, it would be pretty fun?...
Girl: Alright, we can move on. Ok, who do you most admire in the entire world?
Me: Hmm, who do I most admire? Uhh..
etc.

For ideal day I should have said: Wake up, smoke weed, fuck, smoke weed, eat 'ritos, fuck, reverse slam dunk, destroy the enemy, coconut milk, Rainbow Brite, Randy Savage, praise the Lord, slip and slide, chip's ahoy, mother's womb, gunshot, eternal slumber. Oh well.