you quit school
and gave up on life
you had cancer or something so they excised your flesh
there were other problems with your lymph nodes
you came to my reading in chinatown and vomited
we had creative writing
you wrote about a dog that was a sad robot
i wrote about sad children and a giant squid
now you are an electrician
because of student loans you are fucked
there is an online game that you play
you have gained a lot of weight
you said you don’t check your email anymore
i lent you money for cigarettes
‘you’ve given up on life,’ i said
you said you hadn’t
i said we’d play the lottery
you said you just threw out about seventeen non-winning tickets
i said i went to atlantic city over thanksgiving and won
i said we’d go to atlantic city
you said you can’t; not until you win the lottery
you took me to the beach
the beach was gray
you lay on a rock and you said it was beautiful
it was 3 a.m. and i stood there
the water was black
‘let’s go,’ i said
‘wait,’ you said
i said okay
and a few minutes passed