Yo pay attention to the rhymes I spit
Martin Luther King birthday, January 15th....96
Nobody but my father knows what's going down
He was just walking me home, a lot of snow was on the ground
And the whole time, his FACE was bluffin'
No anger, no rage, no frustration, no HATE, no nothin'
It was dark, but it wasn't LATE or nothin'
And a car rolled by, Straight up Menace by MC Eiht was bumpin'
Matter fact... It WAS late.... I'm frontin'
Cuz back then, bedtime was after Martin.... Around 8 or somethin'
So I come into the basement RUSHIN'
It's fucked up how fate has no patience to WAIT for nothin'
Not even kind enough to let you know what DATE it's comin'
Just come knockin' on your door like I'm TAKIN' somethin'
This day was somethin'
My pops stood over my mom..... And asked her bout her day or somethin'
And bout her new man.... Jay or somethin'
Then he raised his hand, and he smacked her in her FACE for frontin'
Now she cryin'... her FACE is flushin'
Then he pulled out a knife, and he carved her like a steak or somethin'
My brother rushed him to save my mother
He got between them both, but somehow the blade had cut him
I didn't rush to his aide or NOTHIN'
See back then I was afraid.... If only I was brave I'd snuff him
The one who gave my mother
His last name and loved her
Took a blade and stuck her
And took away my mother
What a way to suffer
And left her there bleedin' to death.... What a way to say you love her
She screamin' help... Can't you hear her?
I guess the enemy is closer than they appear, like that rear view mirror
Eyes foggy as the TEARS drew nearer
Sayin' please don't let her die Lord... Can't you spare her?
Samantha opened the door, but when she walked in
Her hands was on her face with her mouth open lookin' like Macauley Culkin
But before she walked in
I heard and I saw her talkin
To someone, I could've SWORE she saw him
Then I turned and saw when
Shamel somehow got out of his walker and crawled to her slaughtered caucus
Between you and me I think we ALL was nauseous
And this is what a soon to be divorce had cost us
He killed my EFFIN mom
Samantha went and dialed 911 like Wyclef and Blige
And the cop took his EFFIN time
I thought she had the right to live, but she was left to die
Her funeral? I ain't seen her in make-up in a minute!!
I pinched her stomach to see if she'd wake up and she didn't
What the fuck!! Yo you silly Shawn!!
Yeah I know, that was stupid, but I had to make sure that she was really gone
But that's enough about my mom and how I lost her though
Let's skip to the chapter bout my times in a foster home
Packin' my bags to head off like I lost my dome
Wanted to stay with Samantha but we was forced to go
You see we livin' in a world where the CASH matters
She couldn't take care of us.... I ain't mad at her
So now I'm livin' in this stranger's home
Matter fact... This a DANGER zone
Yo this AIN'T ya home
A lot of shit
Inside of him
No hugs and kisses he's nothin' but a DOLLAR sign to them
He been losin' so long that he ain't even TRYNA win
Though the bruises is gone, it's still deep in SIDE of him
FELL DOWN, never got back up to try again
TWELVE ROUNDS, can't get FUCKED UP I GOTTA win
HELL BOUND in this world but FUCK I GOTTA sin
WELL NOW I guess I'm stuck in this DUMP they got us in
Cuz I was forced to bear WITNESS to this shit
See I was a ho, and the FOSTER CARE system was my PIMP
I remember, all the years WISHIN' I could DIP
And all the tears DRIPPIN' to my lip
Social workers comin' like BITCHES on a dick
Just to tell me that I'm FUCKED UP, like I'm TWISTED off the liqs
Had me wonderin'... why they always dissin' foster kids?
Crossin' out the nice families for Christmas off the list
Oh yea... There was that week in December
I stole my foster brother's candy cane, they tried to make me eat it for dinner
See he was the spoiled rotten one
Yeah i was wrong, but I wouldn't of had to TAKE HIS SHIT if i had gotten one
You thinkin' these is FLAMES I SPIT, like Waka huh?
Nah, this is PAIN I SPIT, this is not for fun
If you felt the FLAMES I"M IN, you would dodge and run
Underneath some SHADE AN SHIT, from the hottest sun
And now these BITCHES is tellin' me
From now on once a week, I will be SITTIN' in THERAPY
As if this SHIT is a REMEDY
They wanna see what's underneath my top, but I ain't gettin' no Jerry beads
Listen... I'm SICKER than EVERY
Nigga CLAIMIN' he spittin' just check the way I finish SENTENCES CLEVERLY
I'm sick of hatin' but GOD DAM!!
How come a nigga that don't live here can go in the frigerator but I can't?!!
FOUR DOLLARS AIN'T GONE LAST ME A WEEK!!!
I'm IN YO WALLET WHILE YO ASS IS ASLEEP!!
Askin' God... Why does all of this happen to me?
Why am I stuck at the bottom like grass in a cleat?
This is baffling me
I happened to be
That nigga with big glasses.... Everybody laughed at the geek
The same niggas laughin at me
Was DAPPIN' me
But they couldn't pass class wit a B
FATHER FIGURES is the niggas that was BLASTIN' THE HEAT
ROBBIN' NIGGAS just to get some fast CASH FOR THE WEEK
I FOLLOWED NIGGAS just to get some fast ASS FROM A FREAK
The MODEL BITCHES is the ones that got PASSED TO THE TEAM
I SWALLOWED LIQUOR wit them niggas and was PASSIN' THE WEED
TRYNA FIGURE how to get around the TRAPS OF THE STREET
FORGOT TO MENTION how the system tryna' SPLATTER YA DREAMS
The ODDS AGAINST HIM but I STILL gotta CHALLENGE THE BEAST.... SHEESH!!
Not only am I a lava spitta
But I had to dig DEEP for these jewlz... I'm a DIAMOND DIGGER
I'm tryna figure
Why the people closest to me I just push em away... I'm like that arm on a Heisman figure
Being fed big portions of truth, to bitter to swallow, that I would rather eat LIES for dinner
But I was searchin' for it like a 5 percenter
And if my siblings ever hear this.... Y'all remember
The sun GOTTA shine on us SOONER or later, cuz we surVIVED the winter
I think my lucks too hard
Nights gettin' drunk, face to the sky screamin' FUCK YOU GOD!!
THIS WORLD.... MUCH TOO HARD!!!
FOR A SKINNY NIGGA!!!
YOU THE REASON WHY WE SMOKE AND SIP HENNY NIGGA!!!
YOU THE REASON WHY WE BROKE AND PINCH PENNIES NIGGA!!!
WHY I GOTTA LIVE THE HARDAWAY LIKE PENNY NIGGA!!!
SEE YOU GOT ME IN MY FURIOUS STAGE!!!
SO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!!
STOP IGNORING ME NIGGA!!!
I THINK FOR MYSELF, SO DONT YOU TELL ME NOT TO QUESTION YOUR AUTHORITY NIGGA!!!
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS PLEADIN' FOR YA HELP!!!?
ARE YOU EVEN THERE, OR AM I JUST SPEAKIN' TO MYSELF!!!?
YOU NOT RESPONDING TO ME BUDDY!!!
WHY YOU WASN'T THERE THAT DAY MY FOSTER FATHER TRIED TO FUCK ME!!!?
LISTEN THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!
IF MY DEEDS AND MY SINS WERE BEIN' WEIGHED ON A SCALE MY SINS WILL BE IN THE AIR!!
Ya'll like this nigga is foolish
Well in school I played this game where the teacher used to whisper to students
And it was mad fun
The game went on until we whispered in the ear of the last one
But what they whispered in mine
Was NEVER what the teacher said 100 PERCENT of the time
So listen here God, talk is cheap
I don't WANNA hear what other people said you said, just talk to ME!
Cuz the places where they like to walk the sheep
The same places where they like to slaughter meat
It's scary how we wide awake but still snoring SLEEP
The waters I dive are awfully deep
The mountains i climb are awfully steep
Forget what you thought of me
The end is near is what they often preach
So get it together, times runnin' out, and it's 4th and 3
And Ima WIN before the quarter leave
So everybody, HAIL MARY, go long, Ima toss it DEEP
I'm tryna' free my soul
I can't hold BACK no more, I gotta let this sling shot go
But one thing I know
I'm in a never ending fight with the devil, so it's off to the ring I go
Cuz I been boxin' demons
I bob an weave em
I'm hardly breathin'
Sit me in the corner so my cut man can stop the bleedin'
I'm just eager for a peace of mind
Before I reach a time
When I reach a nine
And put the PIECE TO MIND!
This might sound a little foolish yo
But for a WHILE I been feelin' like Jim Carey in The Truman Show
I'm searchin' for help
I talk about the wrong done to me as if I'm perfect myself
How am I mad at my father because he wasn't there for me an shit
But go and let my girl flush our baby down the toilet like a piece of shit?
YO I'm A PIECE OF SHIT!!
Them deadbeats I criticize may not support theirs
But at least they ain't abort theirs
That ain't even the rest
I stole a lot of money from the one woman that treated me best
Sneaky nigga, I was so evasive
Shoplifting from Wal-Mart did a couple of home invasions
A short list of crap
This one time.... ehhhhh Fuck it.... I ain't even gone mention that
Hard to admit it but I'll say the shit
My insecurities be fuckin' up my intimate relationships
It's like every time I date a chick
The asshole show up and wear em out like the latest kicks
Oh so you a playa now?
You used to hold me Shawn after you lay it down
Now you don't stay around
And it really hurts
I'm just afraid that if I don't leave you you gone leave me first
I think I should stop here
See I'm DONE with them chapters... So I'mma leave a bookmark here
So look y'all listen up
I'll be back to finish.... Just make sure that that bookmark stickin' up
The Autobiography - QB
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