Cover art for Scene 2 Where’s the Shit? by Robert Rodriguez

Scene 2 Where’s the Shit?

Apr. 6, 20071 viewer

Scene 2 Where’s the Shit? Lyrics

Transition from the trucks driving away and now into the military base itself. As the trucks pull up, there are several men moving some machine type things around.

Romey:
Alright boys, come on.

Trucks pull to a stop, the guys with the machines all shield their eyes from the light of the headlights.

Romey:
Alright, alright, come on.
You guys know the drill, huh?

Abby gets out of the truck and walks forward.

Abby:
Wait here Lieutenant… I’ll handle this.

Romey:
Hey Abby.

Abby:
I can see you’ve had a spot of trouble, Romey.

Camera pans to a cage that has its bars broken open.

Abby:
Would you like to tell me what happened?
Romey:
Well, they - - escaped. Uh…

Abby:
All three?

Romey:
Yeah, uh… I don’t know, uh, I don’t know how they did it. Just, they got out - -

Man walks up holding a container full of unknown contents.

Abby:
I’m sorry, Romey, but I just don’t trust you anymore. And you know the rules.

Romey:
Hold on.
I’m out. I swear Abby, I’m--I’m--You’re not gonna see me anymore.

Abby:
Not so fast.

The man with the container hands Abby a weird looking knife, which Abby holds up to show Romey, and everyone else in attendance.

Abby:
I also want your balls.
Abby throws Romey the knife. The guy holding the container now opens it.

Romey:
I’m really quite attached to them.

Abby:
Oh sweetheart. I was really attached to my specimens. Now they’re out there in the night doing God knows what.

Romey:
I can’t do it, Abby. Please. Please, Abby.

Abby snaps his fingers. Romey’s own guys then hold him down.

Romey:
Hey. Hey! What are you guys--Let me go, you motherfuckers! Son of a bitch! Abby. Listen! You don’t need Abby! There’s more! I can get you all you want! Abby! Fuck! Motherfucking pussies!
Let me go you son of a bitch, I can get you more!

A man with some unusual scissors walks up and snips as Romey screams.One of the guys then throws Romey’s testicles out onto the pavement. Abby walks up and squishes them with his foot.

Abby:
Pick this up please.

Abby shoots Romey. The guys in the trucks have an electronics malfunction as all of their breathing packs make a loud interference noise. Lt. Muldoon exits the truck and the electronic screeching stops. Lt. Muldoon removes his mask and looks around.

Lt. Muldoon:
Where’s the shit?
Abby: (pointing his pistol at the machines)
The shit’s right there. The deal is still good.

Lt. Muldoon:
No, it’s not. You held out on me. Now I want all of it.

Abby shrugs then opens fire on Muldoons men. Muldoon returns fire. Abby’s container of testicles falls to the ground shattering. Muldoon motions to his men to move forward. They begin coming from every direction. A Hummer pulls forward, slamming into Abby, who flies back onto his shattered testicle container. Abby and his men are now forced to surrender, Muldoon’s men holding Abby down on the ground with their feet locking his arms in place.

Lt. Muldoon:
Looks like I’ve got you by the balls Abby.

Abby:
You certainly have.

Lt. Muldoon: (visibly forming boils on his face as he gets angrier)
So… I’ll ask you one more time. Where’s… The… Shit?

Abby:
Everywhere.

Abby shoots at his machines releasing green gas into the air at a rapid pace. Several men walk through the gas cloud screaming as their flesh melts away. Muldoon’s men remove Abby’s pistol. Muldoon winks at Abby and walks away through the cloud. Abby staggers up and begins shoving his prized testicles into his pockets. Abby gets into a vehicle and glances back to see Lr. Muldoon standing perfectly still in the cloud of gas with several of his men. Abby looks into the sky and realizes that the green gas is getting into the air.

Abby:
Oh balls.

Abby pulls away as a guy runs up the back of the truck and onto the roof. Causing Abby to swerve all over the road. The camera pans as Abby swerves down the road.

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