Owen Welsh – Yeah, It’s a Kilt
Yeah, it’s a kilt, a traditional Scottish garment repurposed for the needs of a modern man who can’t be contained by mere pants. I used to wear pants. I know first-hand the constriction of having a tube of cloth run down each leg like a boa swallowing your limbs for its own sustenance, restricting your movement as it eats your legs whole. Why settle for a pair of constrictors when you can have a canopy hanging from your waist, and you can run freely through the woods with constant shelter always at your beck and call?
My kilt? It flows as I frolic, it parts as I prance, it swings to the side as I skip and I spin, my legs no longer pulled in by pants. My kilt frees me not just of the shackles of slacks, but the prison of presumptions. Who wears the pants in the relationship? Certainly not this guy!
My kilt has to hang loosely. Pants would tear at the seams if they tried to contain all that flows from this kilt: the power to challenge closed minds, the power to make you question your perception, the power to change the world, they could never be contained in bifurcated leggings.
Bifurcated, by the way, means cut in two, like pants cut in to two legs. But my kilt, is non-bifurcated. It is whole, like two pieces of an ancient artifact once split because mortal men could never fathom the power contained within, fused together at last to unleash its true strength upon an unsuspecting people.
My kilt can fly me above the world, as I stand proudly above it all. But I have to be careful, for my kilt is brash and bold. It wants to float in the sky facing straight downward, to hop on trampolines, to stand on glass floors tempting those below to look up. But kilt, we must leave some things the imagination, my friend.
I hop fences in my kilt, breaching boarders to get a broader view because my kilt wants to see the world. My kilt wants to swing through the trees and swim the seas and just go into fields and feel the breeze. My kilt wants to climb the mountains and sing the songs and strike dramatic poses to show off just how far these pleats can stretch.
My kilt, can guide you into a world of new possibilities, a world where your wardrobe’s worth is decided only by whether you had the courage to wear what you want to wear. Yeah... it’s a kilt.
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