The gay man’s defence: a poem
In a dialogue between Michael Vick, Donte Stallworth, Michael Sam, and Commissioner Roger Goodell
By Declan Kelly

Mr. Vick. Welcome, thou brave Defender of our Sport;
‘Til now, I thought with words you could not thwart:
Dull heavy Morals did your interviews employ;
That one man’s gayness our league would destroy:
I hear of frightful tales of lockerooms without banter
Silent and shivering, grabbing towels with a scamper;
Heard you declaim the man’s vice, and blame the times
For allowing our league to be infected with such grimes;
Those darling times post-game in the shower
I fear won’t e’er be allowed to flower
With frightened eyes, and his pretended disinterest
I’d stand cornered in the showers, my reservations the simplest
Till now and till ever, none of his Tribe were ever kind
Good Lockeroom Humor is now forever to a prison confined
You, who against the Terrors of our Sport
Those worst of Plagues, those pansies we hope to abort
Have suggested your Fear in moments of TV time
Shown your resentments, and not for the dime
Sure you’ve peeked in the showers before
Without bad intentions otherwise you’d abhor;
You could not without experience come to our defense
Expatiate his every Fault, and Blazon each Offence

(2)

How happy, Mr. Stallworth, is your Life!
You have not known these Shackles of Strife:
Your Football Worries you undisturb’d can mind
And enjoy camaraderie of the best kind:
Without those situations far and beyond
You getting undressed and he looks, how to respond?
And even though this movement gains in traction
It should only be perceived as a distraction
And when from Football your Thoughts soon wander
You will without Joy the Noble Chase squander
Or when you please Create that sweet insensitive banter
No frowning Sam-man stands by tooting his chanter
No activists fright you condemning such slander
None dare contend; for none know our world
You remain distant, safe from a media wind whirled
Discreet in all affairs; from this Slavery free
And taste the Sweets of envied Liberty

Mr. Stallworth. The superbest solidarity I ever did feel
I cannot of this player on the field make a meal
To them I’ve long granted a gentile touch
Like a lady, my press brings about a hush
I’ve had of the best Teammates a numerous store
Not even Tom Brady could boast of more;
Yet each was Good, each with Perfections blest
And each by turns has journeyed on Lombardi’s quest;
That I’m unexposed, is my Fate, not Choice:
My concerns I wouldn’t voice when I can relax in a Rolls Royce;
And thank God first, for he put me here
Inclined to refuse intimidation by some fearless queer:
“Mr. Scott, why wouldn’t he be allowed to take Part?”
While discreetly I have no place for him in my Heart
Ceilings broken, and again they take their aim
They’ll be the Shame, and the Venom of the game

Commissioner Goodell. Not led by the money, but by integrity spurred
I’ve told the young man what’s of him required
Shown him his faults in the clearest way
Made sure he understood our reserve for his play
Taught him his eyes to evade and not tease
And to their Humors in these moments you shall cease

(3)

Give up your treason, or expect many to resign
Your every Look, and every Thought, disgusts us like swine
Sure now this Distraction you can’t recall
‘Twas bravely meant, but effects us All

Michael Sam. Must straight command, and oppress the gay
As if designed, that God “put you here” to be this way:
Seen oppressions throughout the generations
Would you still see all subjected to false qualifications?
Narcissus-like, you our own faulty views spew
Think none deserve to be admired but you:
Your own Perfections always you adore
But your faults, your crimes, you constantly ignore:
I have my faults, but you are all sublime
You all may do the crime but not the time
Rape, Murder, your every Passion free
But now the line’s been crossed with me?
Another’s humanity you are free to exploit
And on 60 Minutes pay homage to Detroit
For every Crime you a Covering find;
Under-the-table deals a many you have signed :
As you pay Tribute as to not injure your Fame
As to Pride, how can you say you have a claim?
Cowards are present and abundant
Cops are gentile, and Hectoring Bullies redundant:
Most smoke ‘til they’re high, regardless of the law’s defense
You are Generous Men, your charities spare no expense:
It’s a man’s sport you say
And I am a danger to you all, in what way?
A man who does Cheat, Steal, Rape, and Lie;
Does to himself his manhood deny
But only now is it a wretched sport. Was it I who put a cloud in that blue sky?
Thus to each Vice you’ve given to our precious Game
I say those are the ones that have brought it true Shame
But unto me I’m sure the blame is due
Must I pay for it all, and look for none from you?
Why are you all not framed as well as me;
Must you from all Restraints, all Laws be free?
A Distrustful Shadow onto our league you’ve transferred
And now I serve the sentence which you, not I, have earned?
I’m catching the duck that you all have thrown;
This is not something I intend to condone

(4)

Commissioner Goodell. Love and Respect are, I must own, your due
But not till there’s Cooperation shown by you:
Control, and a studious Care to our wishes appease
May give you the Right to Belong in locker rooms such as these

Mr. Vick. Yes, as we please, we may tease and be chastised
‘Tis the prerogative of a football player baptized:
A Culture discomforted with this political correctness used
What if he makes that a power abused?
A sport it may be, but a livelihood all the greater
We are but injuries and scandals away from the life of a waiter
How can one be assured safety for being straighter?
Or that he won’t expose us for his personal gain? The traitor

Michael Sam. You fear I will use this for personal gain?
All I desire is merely to be treated as sane
To live at large a Punishment undeserved
To one who has this Culture’s faults observed
Would prove the players vile, discourteous, unjust, and untrue
Do this, and only then will I allow your hypocrisy to break through

For all my life I’ve revered this League as Divine;
I’ve seen an unblemished virtue fail to shine
Seen Kenny Washington and Fritz Pollard
Time after time legally horse collared
When substantial Sorrow, and sizable Sense
Are felt with unaffected Repentance;
When between Lives of Different Doctrines a peace is made
And unalienable Truths with humble Zeal conveyed
With Passions finally curtailed, with Bigotry and Pride inside
Not swayed by Coin, nor by clandestine deals signed
Respecting riches, and reflecting on singular strife
And shunning all the noisy Pimps of Life
You live with awestruck respect of Sport
Without the desire of separate peoples to abort:
I shall with Joy the highest Deference pay
And heedfully cooperate with all you say